Bible - J. Sheridan

As many of you may be aware I went to a Religious school, the same one many of you fine fellows also attended. Infrequently.
Course I can't take the high ground there, my attendence in Chem class was about 5%, but thats another story...

While there we had Religious Study lessens which taught us stuff, things in the Bible etc. Unfortunately those lessons seemed to miss what has to be the most awesome thing ever to be written. Behold...

II Kings 2:23-24

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

Yes, that is for real. Just take a moment to picture the unmitigated awesome of that moment.

First, kudos to these biblical hoodies for coming up with a believable insult, nicely displaying their level of intellect. We also see they are hanging around in a large group on the roadside, possibly chugging cider and comparing ringtones.

Unfortunately they picked the wrong old guy to have a go at. This isn't some mad coot with a stick, this is a man who kicks ass for the Lord.
Well, technically he summons bears to do it for him.

Bears man, mutha f**king bears.

I mean he's in the deserts of wherever, nobody even knows bears bloody exist! Now Lion attacks, cool, maybe a crocodile, but BEARS?!

That takes it up to a whole different level of awesome.

So he doesnt suck up the insult and walk away in shame, he doesn't shout back, he doesn't attack them with his cane or turn the other cheek.

He summons most righteuos holy bears to f**king eat them!

'I'm sorry madam, your idiot son is dead.'
"Oh no! How did he die officer?'
'He was ripped apart by a Righteous god-Bear of Divine justice.'

Now if they taught that in schools the world would be a better place. Watch out kids, next time you insult a stranger you might find you get your face chewed off by a sodding magic Bear.

We need a new curriculum in school, teach things like that and it would make the whole experience actually enjoyable.

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