More Euro Loonyness - The Tainted One
The European Union of Commissioners have agreed to adopt ENGLISH as the preferred language for European communications rather than GERMAN (Much to the anger of the Germans who have always wanted a United Europe) GERMAN being the other preferred language.
However H.M. Government conceeded English spelling has room for improvement and has accepted a five year plan to phase in 'Euro English'.
In the first year "S" will replace the soft "C", a move that will be welcomed by Sivil Servants. The hard "C" will be dropped in favour of "K", this should kleer up konfusion and reduce keyboards by one letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "PH" is replaced by the "F". This will make words like fotograf 20 per sent shorter. By the third year, publik akseptanse of the new style kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Double letters which have always ben a deterant to akurate speling, will be baned. Also, al wil agre that the silent "E" is kumbersom and should go. By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to replasin "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "O" kan be droped from vords kontaining "OU".
Zen ve vil hav a sensibil riten styl of English.
Zer vil be no mor difikultis vis speling and evrivun vil understand ech uza.
ZE DREM OV A UNITED UROP VIL FINALI KUM TRU.....
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